Things to NEVER say when having sex!
- But whipped cream makes me break out.
- Will this take long? My favorite show comes on at 10.
- And to think I was trying to pick up your friend.
- Uh, do you get ESPN?
- Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
- Maybe if I water it, it will grow.
- Sorry about the name tag, I’m terrible with names.
- Wow, you could do this for a living.
- Don’t touch my hair, it just cost me $100 to get done.
- Is that a Medic-Alert pendant you’re wearing.
- Don’t worry, it’s just like swallowing soup.
- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs.
- The ceiling could use a new coat of paint.
- My ex used to do it longer.
- My cat always sleeps on that pillow.
- When is ”I’m almost there”, there?
- You give me a good reason why foreplay is overrated.
- Don’t mess my makeup, I have to meet my husband in an hour.
- So that’s why your nickname is Tiny?
- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!