The Porn Classics Revisited – “The Opening of Misty Beethoven” – 1976

The Porn Classics Revisited – “The Opening of Misty Beethoven” – 1976

The 1970′s were quite a decade. Changes were continually taking place in our everyday lives. Right now let’s take a look back at our Bicentennial year and as always we’ll start with what the cost of living was back in 1976.

The average yearly income was $16,000, the cost for a new 3 bedroom home averaged $43,000 and if you were a renter, the average was $220 a month. A gallon of gas was a whopping 59 cents. You could buy a Polaroid camera (remember them?) for just $28, a Zenith 25” color TV was $600, or a brand new Plymouth Arrow for $3,100. Here are some of the news headlines…..The Concorde jet makes it first flight taking only 3 ½ hours to go from London to New York……. Fidel Castro takes over as the leader of Cuba…….. New York City is terrorized by the “Son of Sam” killing spree that takes place…….Eccentric billionaire, Howard Hughes, dies at 70 in Las Vegas…….. Steve Jobs and Steve Wosniak start up the Apple Computer company………The first Legionnaires Disease affects 4,000 delegates in Pennsylvania……… It’s the U.S. bicentennial year celebrating 200 years of independence……The U.S. mint offers the $2 bill…….. Matsushita introduces the VHS home video cassette recorder to compete with Sony’s Beta max system……The CN tower in Toronto, Canada is completed and is the tallest free standing structure in the world at the time.

In Hollywood among the big film hits are “All the President’s Men”, “Taxi Driver” and “Rocky”. In music Elton John, Barry Manilow, ABBA, Rod Stewart and Queen rule the charts while disco music is the big new fad. On TV among the popular shows were The Six Million Dollar Man, Quincy, Barney Miller, McCloud, Sanford and Son and a new show aimed at the younger set called The Muppets also becomes a big hit with adults. Among the celebrities we lost in 1976 are actor Sal Mineo, jazz pianist Vince Guaraldi, songwriter Johnny Mercer, mystery writer Agatha Christie and actress Rosalind Russell.

In the world of porn  most films were being done in the New York area but a shift to the west coast was just beginning. There was also new technology and the coming of the VHS that would forever change the face of porn. There were some great classic films done that year, one of them is the film we look back at today, “The Opening of Misty Beethoven”.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven – VCA Pictures – Director – Henry Paris – Cast – Constance Money, Jamie Gillis, Jacqueline Beudant, Gloria Leonard, Terri Hall, Jenny Baxter, Mary Stuart, Ras Kean, Casey Donovan, Cynthia Gardner, Helene Simone, Marlene Willoughby, and Nancy Dane.

It has been called one of the best, if not THE best porn film ever done. Some pretty strong words considering the number of porn classics that have come along over the past 40 plus years.. That being said, I definitely would put this in the top five of all time. It wasn’t total perfection, but damn close and the way this film was done, the casting, the story and plot, the music, the superb acting and the sexual content it was all pulled together to make it a true porn classic of the golden age.

While not a parody, it is based on the famous “Pygmalion” (My Fair Lady) and director Paris did an extraordinary job of creating a film that keeps your total interest from the first frame to the last. The story revolves around an American girl Misty (Constance Money), who is a prostitute in Paris. She’s not very educated and gets discovered by Dr. Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis), a well known author, who’s has been searching for an unknown to become the next Goldenrod Girl. He is convinced that he can change Misty into something very special. So with the help of his publisher Geraldine (Jacqueline Beuadant), he begins his work of transforming this somewhat awkward, not too bright girl into the next international sex sensation. It’s a tall order for the author but he is convinced he can do it. One thing Misty would have to do to become the Goldenrod Girl, is make it with the magazine’s publisher, Lawrence Lehman (Ras Kean), a well renowned and wealthy playboy. However, before that happens there is a lot to be done with Misty.

The transformation begins to take place at Dr. Love’s penthouse in New York, using everything he can which includes films, demonstrations, and even interaction with his servants. Once that has begun he decides to take her to Rome so she can get some real life experience in this transformation. He sends her off to the opera and she gives pleasure to a high society gentleman. That incident creates some new fame among the gossip circles. But that is just the beginning for Misty as the doctor has an even bigger challenge for her, seducing an “impotent man.” He calls on an actress friend, Tanya (Terri Hall) to set the whole thing up. What Tanya does is record an audio tape of instructions for Misty to use while making her move on this man, who’s obviously a homosexual and demonstrating the techniques on the doctor’s publisher under his direction. Following the audio instructions, Misty is successful in seducing this man and getting him to cum. It is a dazzling scene very well played out.

The change in Misty is almost complete but there is one more test she needs to do before she is ready to face the publisher. She has to take on three men and be able to make them cum simultaneously. Even though she’s becoming discouraged because she seems to fail at this test, she finally succeeds making three of Dr. Love’s servants climax at the same time. Now her training is completed and she is off to attend one of Lehman’s lavish, over the top parties. It is at this party that she gets to become the next Goldenrod Girl by sexually pleasing not only Lehman, but his sexy companion (Gloria Leonard). However, when all is said and done the doctor winds up losing the transformed Misty when he brags about how he took her as a nobody and made her a star all on his own. Misty, hurt by his arrogance, leaves him. The doctor realizes how much she means to him and wants Misty back but can’t locate her. But when he’s just about given up hope of ever seeing her again, she returns but there is a twist. The difference now is that it will be strictly on her terms not his. It is a finale to a memorable film that is somewhat unexpected, but is the fitting climax to the story.

Radley Metzger had made a big name for himself in the soft core sexploitation genre, but when porn took hold, he decided to jump on board. Under his “porn de plume” Henry Paris, he would turn out some of the great porn classics of the era. In this one his casting was perfect both from an acting standpoint as well as sexual. Constance Money showed her star quality, Jamie Gillis, who created many fantastic roles was at his very best here, Jaqueline Beudant, in her one and only porn role, was spot on and the rest of the cast in roles big and small were brilliantly cast. Then add the locales of Paris, Rome and New York, the sharp, witty writing, the settings, music, story and plot and how it is played out, the cinematography and you have a masterpiece in film making. As for the sex scenes they were erotically done, offering plenty of sizzle and steam. Put all of this together under the caring touch of Paris and you come away with a true classic of porn’s golden age.

The film is available on DVD in a 2 disc set and includes a lot of great extras pertaining to the film and its stars. The transfer to disc has been extremely well done as far as the audio, color and visuals. I strongly urge you to get hold of this true classic “The Opening of Misty Beethoven”. It will definitely be one very interesting, entertaining and enjoyable views you could enjoy.

Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN

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