I want so much to go on a rant regarding what is going on in this country, but my mind is fighting the temptation. So, instead this week’s “Art’s World” is my humorous look at all of us getting older. God knows right now we need some humor in our lives. If any of these sound familiar welcome to the club. Amazing how life changes when we get older, say 60 and beyond. So many things have a different meaning. Here’s 15 examples.
- When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
- To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
- Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
- It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
- The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
- When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 25 years ago.
- I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
- My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
- Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
- When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
- I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
- I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
- When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
- Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
Regardless of your age have a great time with this precious gift called life. We only have it part time and never know when it may end, so enjoy each and every day you have. Always remember that “Today is the tomorrow you dreamed about yesterday”!.
Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves Magazine and AAN
